rust on my soul

I'm awake
But my soul still sleeps
Comatosed and stuck
In a nightmare for weeks
Days and weeks
And months on end
Its stuck there alone
With no one to tend
It cries and weeps
For it knows the past
The things it has broken
The stones it has cast
It can not run
For the chain is tight
Theres no use to bother
No use to fight
If you pass by the door
And hear it shout
Please break it free
Please let it out
Remind it of change
And things done good
Things it did right
When it knew it should
Break it free from its bind
Wash away the rust
Teach it to forget
And teach it to trust
With someones help
Im sure it will be fine
Just a little help
From your soul to mine

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A dream a fight a smile a laugh a tear... it all comes rushing in like the tidal wave from a tsunami. As I struggle to comprehend the meaning the waves beat me further into submission. I bite down onto the thickest part of my hand and suck in the pain. I tremble as I tumble swirling convoluted thoughts. My head swells so big the pounding will not stop. I floss the edges, polishing them to shine. Without the physical, the mental won't unwind. Is this it? Is it where it's supposed to be, how it's supposed to feel. All I ever wanted was a taste of something real.

Who knows?

Who knows the answer to all my questions? I sit and I contemplate I run ideas and scenarios through my head until I just want to sleep. The problem is the unanswered questions keep me awake. At this point I am not sure if I'm looking for the answers to my questions or the questions to my answers. What if, when, why, where, how, who, what time, with what......... the list goes on. I can't say why I am writing this for sure I just sat down and started letting my fingers run wild on the keyboard. Can you tell me why I am typing this? Is it some deep part of my inner being that I have no control over? Is it the boredom? Or is it that I just want to see  if anyone is listening?