A dream a fight a smile a laugh a tear... it all comes rushing in like the tidal wave from a tsunami. As I struggle to comprehend the meaning the waves beat me further into submission. I bite down onto the thickest part of my hand and suck in the pain. I tremble as I tumble swirling convoluted thoughts. My head swells so big the pounding will not stop. I floss the edges, polishing them to shine. Without the physical, the mental won't unwind. Is this it? Is it where it's supposed to be, how it's supposed to feel. All I ever wanted was a taste of something real.

Who knows?

Who knows the answer to all my questions? I sit and I contemplate I run ideas and scenarios through my head until I just want to sleep. The problem is the unanswered questions keep me awake. At this point I am not sure if I'm looking for the answers to my questions or the questions to my answers. What if, when, why, where, how, who, what time, with what......... the list goes on. I can't say why I am writing this for sure I just sat down and started letting my fingers run wild on the keyboard. Can you tell me why I am typing this? Is it some deep part of my inner being that I have no control over? Is it the boredom? Or is it that I just want to see  if anyone is listening?